As pregnancy ticks on, things don’t seem to get more real. As the stomach grows and the skin stretches, I still found it hard to believe that there was a little life in there.
A deep maternal instinct told me to keep bump safe; to protect it from the struggles of this world. A feeling I am sure will remain far beyond pregnancy and childhood.
No matter how many books we read or how much we frequented the Pampers website telling us which stage our little one was at week on week, it still felt a little surreal. And it still feels surreal now to think about where our wee lad began his life.
Even when my husband takes him now, at a few months old, sits him on my stomach and says “can you imagine him in there?”
No, but I’m really glad he wasn’t that size when he was!
Apparently, you couldn’t tell that I was pregnant until I turned around. Result! Trust me, I know how lucky I was. Especially since my hands and feet stayed their original size too.
I have the feeling that other new mums will be swearing at me right now after that information.
It trucks on and the bump grows. Suddenly its huge and when people ask how you feel, you can confidently say:
“I feel the size of a barge.”
The world isn’t completely honest about being a parent. There is plenty that they miss; plenty that they over-simplify and some that they get spot on.
Its impossible to describe the reasons for wanting a baby. There’s plenty of statements you can utter and each will be different for each person.
Perhaps it is a primitive instinct that kicks in. The need to continue the species. Perhaps there is no hiding from the maternal, no matter how much of a tomboy you were (or are). Perhaps wanting a baby is a natural extension of showing the love you have for another; the father of that child.
Maybe its because you didn’t feel love any where else, but crave the love to be found in a babies eyes. Maybe it is the only way to stoke the fire of affection of the man that you love. Maybe he will only stay because of a baby and you can’t bear to do this life without him.
Either way, when you get right down to it, you want a baby because you just do.